Never again
by Kori-Kisai
Summary: He couldn't take it anymore. Looking at the picture of happier times, two years ago, before everything changed, was sending the pain through his chest until it was unbearable. If HE never came along, everything would be just fine.
1. Russian Roulette

**A/N: I know its short but yeah, R&R!**

**Chapter 1 – Russian roulette**

_**Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,  
>Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliette,<br>Out from the window see her backdrop silhouette,  
>This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget.<strong>_

_**Escape the fate – not good enough for truth in cliché**_

_Here he was. Standing in the complete darkness that was his room, gun in hand. He knew what had to be done, that it was for the best. He couldn't continue living like this, the pain in his chest slowly killing him, and he knew it would never go away. He knew it was time to end his life, because there was no way he could ever be happy again. His sea foam green eyes lazily roamed the room, getting one last look before he finished himself. He froze instantly when his eyes landed on a framed picture, and he picked it up to examine one of the things he was leaving behind. In the picture were two boys, a blond and a redhead. The redhead had a slightly feminine face and body, his frame thin and petite, but he was anything but frail. There was a small smile on the ever passive boys face, and his sea foam green eyes, framed with thick eyeliner to cover the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, betrayed the happiness he was really feeling. The other boy, the blond, was openly grinning, his taller, more masculine yet childish figure standing over the small boy, even though both were the same age of fourteen. _

_He couldn't take it anymore. Looking at the picture of happier times, two years ago, before everything changed, was sending the pain through his chest until it was unbearable. If HE never came along, everything would be just fine. They would still be happy. But that damn raven just HAD to show his face, and ruin everything. He glanced at his young, red headed self, and the one and only hyperactive blond before he put the picture back on the shelf, face down._

_He sat on his bed once again, the gun still in his hand. He slowly lifted the gun to his head, his finger on the trigger. He knew he didn't want to leave his best friend, but the yellow ball of energy was happy now that he had the raven, and he knew he wouldn't be able to watch them be happy together. He knew he would die happy, as long as he knew that his one and only, the only person he would ever be able to love, was happy. _

_A slow smile graced his lips, before he added pressure to the trigger. A loud bang was heard throughout the house as his figure was surrounded in a bright light._

"Gaara, come on! We're gonna be late for school!" A loud, obnoxious blond shouted in his best friends face as he dragged him along. The red head, named Gaara, followed his loud fried silently, his slightly feminie face as passive as ever.

"Naruto, let go of my hand," Gaara ordered in his usual, rarely used monotone voice. Naruto just rolled his eyes as he let go, and allowed Gaara to follow him on his own.

Many often wondered how it was possible for the two of them to be so close, when they were so obviously not compatible personality wise, but they made their friendship work, and they had been for three years now. Naruto was Gaara's first friend, and it was the same for Naruto. They were the only person each of them had in their time of need, when they were completely alone and the world had turned its back on them.

It only took them about ten minutes to walk to their destination; Konoha high school. It was large, public high school, with an extremely high in-school fighting rate. Gaara's black framed sea foam green eyes lazily roamed the school, catching sight of a student he had never seen there before. A raven haired boy with onyx eyes, his expression just as blank as the redhead. He was tall. A lot taller than both of the boys, and he seemed very sure of himself. That alone was enough to cause the red head to approach him, feeling the desire to knock the larger boy from the pedestal he seemed to be on, if the look he gave everyone else was anything to go by. He was looking at every single person he passed like they were below him.

Gaara calmly walked over to the boy who was, obviously, at least a year older than him, and stared him down. He could tell that the raven was sizing him up, trying to decide if he was any form of a threat. After a moment, it seemed his mind was made up, and he made a move to leave. Gaara watched the boys back as he began to leave before he decided to stop him.

"Fight me," Gaara's voice came out as a monotonous drawl, the usual tone he used when talking to people. The raven visibly stiffened, before he turned to face the redhead.

"Why?" Gaara was shocked at the boy's voice. He expected a low, menacing voice to come from the taller boy's lips, but that didn't seem to be the case, as the sound that escaped was like silk. Smooth and attractively innocent seeming. Not as rough as he was expecting at all.

"Because I do not like you," Gaara however, didn't betray the shock he felt on his face. The tall raven turned to walk way again, but Gaara stopped him by grabbing the back of his shirt and slamming him face first against the brick wall of the school. "Fight. Me." He growled in his rough voice, anger the only emotion he was allowing to show. His display of violence seemed to get through to the larger boy, as he threw the first punch, aiming it at Gaara's face. Unfortunately for the raven, Gaara was too quick, as he has always been in every single fight he was in. He was untouchable, and never before had anyone other than Naruto been able to lay a hit on him.

Gaara punched the raven multiple times, easily getting the upper hand and pinning the larger boy down.

"Gaara stop it!" Suddenly he was being yanked off the raven by a yellow blur. "Are you okay?" Naruto asked the raven after he knew Gaara wouldn't attack him again.

"Hn," The raven grunted as he stood, wiping the blood away from his split lip. He eyed Gaara wearily for a moment, unsure if he would attack again.

"What is your name?" Gaara questioned unemotionally, his glare still focused on the raven.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I am rather curious about you also, who are you?" The boy, now known as Sasuke, was looking at Gaara blankly, making the red head wonder if he really was curious, or was just asking out of formality.

"I am Gaara Sabaku," Gaara turned to leave as he spoke. He was almost inside the school building before he called to his best friend to follow him, and Naruto shot Sasuke a smile before hurrying after his friend.

"Gaara, why did you have to fight him? Why can't you just make friends?" Naruto whined as they took their seats in the back of the class, Gaara next to the window, while Naruto was sitting between him and a vacant seat.

"Because, he thinks he is better than others, and so I do not believe he has a right to be able to walk around with his head high. He deserves worse than what I gave him," Gaara growled out, still angry that Naruto had interrupted his fight with Sasuke. He wanted to beat that punk so badly he wouldn't be able to walk. He wanted that kid eating his food through a straw for at least a month. But no, Naruto had to go and ruin his fun. He didn't understand why Naruto had to be friends with EVERYONE, and it was truly grating on his last nerve. How could one person want to accept everyone? Gaara had only ever accepted Naruto. Not even his siblings had reached him.

Not even five minutes into the class, the very raven they were talking about entered the room, before being directed to the only available seat. The one next to Naruto.

The moment the raven sat down, Gaara was glaring at him, but as expected, Naruto just made conversation, obviously trying to befriend the boy. Not liking this idea Gaara instantly silenced Naruto with a glare, and a look promising they would discuss the matter later, away from prying ears.

The class was easy for Gaara. Every class was. He had no need to pay attention during lessons, because he had a perfect memory, and so if the teacher was discussing something, even if he wasn't listening he could remember it perfectly.


	2. Leave out all the rest

**A/N: And here we are, back with another chapter of never again! :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

_**When my time comes,  
>Forget the wrong that I've done,<br>Help me leave behind some,  
>Reasons to be missed,<br>And don't resent me,  
>And when you're feeling empty,<br>Keep me in your memory,  
>Leave out all the rest,<br>Leave out all the rest.**_

_**Linkin Park – Leave out all the rest**_

It had been a week since that new boy, Sasuke, had begun to attend Konoha high, and Gaara had not seen Naruto since. He had walked to school alone, while Naruto walked with Sasuke, he sat alone during lunch while Naruto ate with Sasuke, and when they sat together during class, it was as if the red head didn't even exist. He was hurt.

Naruto, the first person he had ever opened up to before, during his entire existence, was shutting him off. The exclusion was getting to his head, and he was sinking back into the shell that the blond had previously pulled him out from. During the week, after he noticed the way Naruto ignored him, he stopped talking, he stopped eating, and he once again stopped sleeping. Everything he was feeling was cutting him so deeply, and he had no idea how to handle it. Gaara knew that his friendship with Naruto was over, that the blond had replaced him, and he knew eventually it would come to this, that like everyone else, Naruto would betray him. But it still hurt.

After a week without his blond ex-best friend, the red head stopped going to school all together, not leaving his room except to use the bathroom, and he knew that no one would notice. He knew that if he just disappeared tomorrow nobody would care. In fact, they might even be glad he was gone. But he knew he couldn't kill himself. He had tried before. The red head just didn't have it in him, because every time he tried, the image of a childish boy with blue eyes and blond hair flashed before his eyes, and he knew he wanted to make sure the blond was happy before he went. Because even though Naruto may not care for him anymore, Gaara still cared for the blond more than anything or anyone else in the world.

Gaara knew he was wasting away. His health was deteriorating quickly. He was deathly pale, thinner than he should be, and he barely even had the energy to move. He didn't care though.

"Gaara! Come on you have to go to school!" Gaara heard his sister Temari yell from outside his door, as she knocked loudly and repetitively. He didn't reply, and so she opened the door and peaked her head inside, her sandy blond hair up in four hair ties, so if you drew a line from each of them it would represent a square, and her eyes, identical to her youngest brothers, were overflowing with concern.

Gaara slowly stood, knowing there would be no point in arguing with her. He fixed up his eye liner, and changed his clothes into a black, now lose fitting shirt, and black skinny jeans. When he was done with that, he pulled on his fluro green converse shoes and walked out of his room, following his sister to the car. It had been a week since he had first refused to go to school, and he was beginning to wonder how much had changed in the amount of time he was absent.

It was a very short drive to the school, but even so, he was still a good fifteen minutes late. Every eye turned on him the moment he walked into history, one of the classes he shares with Sasuke and Naruto. He glared at every single person in the room until they stopped staring at him, but still, the whispers continued. He slowly made his way up to his seat, not even sparing the raven and the blond glance as he sat.

"Gaara... Are you okay?" Naruto whispered worriedly, afraid something may have happened to Gaara to make him look this sickly. He didn't realise he was ignoring Gaara, it was completely subconscious, and it wasn't until that day that he even noticed Gaara's disappearance.

"I am fine," the red head spoke as coldly as he could. He didn't want Naruto's sympathy. The blond obviously didn't care for him, otherwise he would have noticed that he was missing. The entire time he had been gone, he had been falling even further into depression. He even started carving into his arms again, but as usual, he didn't bother to cover the numerous cuts adorning his skin. He didn't care what the world thought of him. He did what he wanted and that was that.

He ignored Naruto's pestering, and instead began to write, it wasn't a form of coherent words, but instead a number of notes on a treble cleft, and all of the notes were for the piano. Gaara had playng from a very young age. No one had taught him though, instead he had taught himself, and found it to be a very good outlet of emotions. The notes he had written down, he knew, that if played at the right tempo, would sound sad and dreary coming from the piano. All was going well, until someone snatched the piece of paper from his desk, and he looked up to meet onyx eyes.

"Give it back," Gaara's voice was calm and level, but inside he was fuming. All he wanted to do was rip the damn Uchiha to shreds, but instead, he just gave the raven the most impassive look he could muster.

The raven read over Gaara's work for a few minutes, seemingly examining every single note, trying to find a flaw, but by the end of his examination, he seemed shockingly impressed.

"Your work is very good, I am sure that if you follow this path after school you will do great things," the ravens voice was almost as impassive as Gaara's, however, there was a hint of emotion in his voice, a small amount of fondness that Gaara could hear, and he assumed it was because Naruto was standing less than three feet behind him.

"Hn," Gaara grunted, not knowing whether or not that was a real compliment, or him just sucking up to Naruto. He assumed it was the latter, as no one was nice to him just because they could be. Everyone had a motive, and he knew that he could trust no one, and that was why instead of conversing with the Uchiha, as the bell had already gone, he snatched up his sheet music, collected his things and left the room.

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><p>The last class of the day on Gaara's schedule was P.E. The one class he loathed with a passion. His P.E teacher, Gai, was an annoyingly loud mad who dressed in all green and constantly shouted about the power of youth. Gaara walked into the locker room and snuck into one of the toilet cubicles to change. He disliked getting changed in front of other people. It made him feel uncomfortable.<p>

After he had changed into his P.E uniform, Gaara exited the locker room and walked out onto the running track, where he spotted Naruto and Sasuke happily conversing with each other. The red head made sure he was as far away from them as possible without seeming suspicious, but still he could feel the blond and the raven both staring at him intently. He just decided that hopefully if he ignored them, they would leave him alone.

Gai forced them to run five laps of the running course, and Gaara, being the unfit and unhealthy person that he was, ran at least twenty meters behind the rest of the group. The only physical thing Gaara has ever been good at was fighting, and that was only because he had always been a very violent and calculative person. Gaara doesn't win fights with brute strength, instead he calculates his every move so that the fight works to his advantage and he gets the upper hand.

When Gaara had finished his five laps, the bell had just gone, and so he walked into the locker room and changed back into his normal outfit, once again hiding in the toilet cubicle to change. He planned to leave and go straight home to do some more brooding, but on his way to the locker room door, a tall figure stepped in front of him, blocking his exit. It was at that point in time that he looked around and noticed that there was no one else in the locker room, except him, and the boy he had identified to be Sasuke.

"What do you want?" Gaara asked, hostility clear in his voice.

"Why are you so cold towards me? Why do you hate me so much?" Sasuke asked. Gaara looked up at the older boy, looking him directly in the eye. It was then that he noticed the loneliness that was there. The same loneliness he saw every time he looked in the mirror.

"Because, you think of yourself better than everyone else. When you look at others, all you see is people below you, people not even worth your time. I hate you because you remind me of the way I used to be before I met Naruto. You remind me of myself, and for that I hate you," He didn't share the part about Sasuke stealing his best friend away, but he didn't believe that it was information that the raven needed to know.

"Why did you do that?" Sasuke had a frown on his face as he spoke, looking at the long, deep cuts covering his arms. The raven reached for one of his arms, gently brushing his fingers across a particularly nasty looking cut, before Gaara flinched away as though he had been burned.

"That is none of your business," were the final words Gaara spoke, before he brushed past Sasuke and left the locker room.

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><p><strong>AN: So what did you think? R&R maybe? Oh and sorry but don't expect constant updates like this. I don't have my proper laptop, so I can't go onto fanfiction, I can only go on my mum's laptop occasionally to update this fic. So yer, please let me know what you think through a review!**


	3. Maybe

**Chapter 3: Maybe**

_**Maybe it's time to change,  
>and leave it all behind,<br>I've never been one to walk alone,  
>Always been scared to try,<br>So why does it feel so wrong,  
>To reach for something more,<br>To want to live a better life,  
>What am I waiting for?<br>Coz nothing stays the same,  
>Maybe it's time to change.<strong>_

_**Sick puppies - Maybe**_

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><p>It had been three months.<p>

Three months since his conversation with Sasuke in the locker room, and since then neither Naruto nor Sasuke even glanced in his direction. He almost refused to go to school countless times, but he realized that if he did this, he would lose. If he completely gave up on everything, it would mean Sasuke had won, and he wouldn't allow that, no matter what. He had always relied on Naruto to protect his happiness, to be there when his life just got too hard, but now he had lost his sunlight to the damn raven.

Gaara was selfish, and he knew that much. To think that Naruto had a new best friend irked him to no end, but he didn't want to ruin his former best friend's happiness, and so he just sat back and observed both boys actions, secretly of course. It didn't take Gaara long to completely and totally resent everything that was Sasuke Uchiha.

He was spoilt, arrogant, and thought himself to be better than the rest of the world, and it took every ounce of Gaara's will power not to storm over and knock the raven down a few notches.

"Hey Gaara, hm" A boy with long blond hair, half of it tied up into a ponytail approached Gaara, and the redhead studied the blond intently. He had bright sapphire blue eyes, and his long side fringe covered his left eye. He had a fairly muscular shape, and was obviously very much taller than Gaara himself. The boy was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with a red cloud on it.

"Hn," Gaara eyed the blond suspiciously as he took a seat next to him. He knew this boy was Deidara, and he knew that he was with the Akatsuki group. A gang of bullies that liked to hassle all of the other students. He knew this because he was one of the people forces to contribute to their 'hobby'. He also knew that Sasuke's older brother, Itachi Uchiha had joined their ranks, because he was the first person the Uchiha went for. Gaara knew he was a great fighter, but he has never been able to fend them off, especially when they attacked in two's all the time.

"My name's Deidara, but then again you probably knew that right, hm?" Deidara smiled at Gaara as he spoke, but the redhead didn't respond, instead he continued staring at Deidara, unsure of what his motives were. "Look, I know I haven't exactly been friendly to you in the past, but I want to make it up to you, seriously, I just want to make amends, hm" Deidara's speech impediment was really beginning to get on his nerves.

"I do not trust you, nor will I ever trust you," Gaara stood to leave, but was stopped by Deidara's arm on his wrist, and Gaara knew Deidara could feel the welts on his skin, from the excessive amount of self harming he did the past few months.

"Gaara, are you okay?" The blond turned his wrist over gently so he could see the numerous cuts littering the redheads arm. It was obvious Gaara didn't care if he cut an artery and died, in fact, Deidara guessed, that was probably what he wanted.

"I am fine," Gaara snarled in response, snatching his arm back and storming off. He was so angry he didn't notice the raven's onyx eyes watching him enter the deserted boys bathroom, and he also didn't notice that same raven stand and follow the redhead, leaving his friends behind.

The moment Gaara entered the bathroom, he made quick work in extracting the razor blade from his pocket, and sliding it slowly across the skin on his left wrist, watching the essence of his life slowly seeping out. He didn't even bother trying to hide his wrist when he heard someone enter the bathroom from behind him. He knew no one cared if he lived or died. What he didn't expect though, was for someone to carefully force him to turn around, and wrap his wrist in a bandage that the other boy pulled from his bag. However, what startled Gaara the most, was when he looked up, the first thing he saw was onyx eyes staring down at him.

When Sasuke had finished wrapping the smaller boys wrist, he didn't dish out pointless questions like Gaara expected, in fact, he didn't even say anything. All he did was look down at Gaara, face completely blank, except for a small glimmer of emotion in his eyes that Gaara couldn't recognise.

"Why did you follow me?" Gaara finally voiced his curiosity, turning an accusing glare on the Uchiha.

"I was concerned, and so I came to make sure you're okay," The redhead knew Sasuke wasn't lying, however, he didn't want to believe what the Uchiha said was true.

"Well don't bother, I'm fine, now why don't you just go run along back to Naruto," Gaara sneered, his voice full of hostility towards the raven.

"Why do you hate me so much, Gaara?" Sasuke questioned, still hiding his emotions from the redhead.

"Because you stole from me the only friend I ever had, the only person who was always there for me, and the only person I ever truly cared about. You stole Naruto from me, and for that I will never forgive you," They were the most words Gaara had ever spoken to the raven, and they were spoken completely out of anger. If Gaara was his usual calm self, he never would have voices any of the words that had just come out of his mouth.

"I never stole anything from you Gaara. You are more than welcome to join us. Naruto has just taken me in as his new best friend, I didn't ask for it. It was his choice, so if you are going to blame anyone, blame him," Sasuke explained to Gaara slowly, his voice never wavering in the slightest.

Gaara's immediate reaction was to leave the bathroom. He wanted nothing more than to beat the life out of the tall Uchiha boy, however, he knew that was not a possibility. Instead, he sat down in his usual spot, glad to see Deidara had left, and he thought about his options.

He didn't need to get through everything on his own since before he met Naruto, and he decided it was time for him to stand on his own once again. He had to rid himself of everything that made him Gaara. He had to change himself and leave everything else behind him. He needed to close off everything, so no one would ever get as close to him as the blond boy had, because he knew, no matter what, it would always, ALWAYS end in betrayal.

Change had never come easily to Gaara, and it probably never would. He had absolutely no idea where to start with his new persona, and what he should change first. It was all very new to him, and as he was sitting there, his head was absolutely full of thoughts. Thought on how he could change his personality, thoughts on how he could change his looks, and mainly, thoughts on how Sasuke and Naruto would react to this new Gaara.

He knew it wouldn't be a pleasant reaction, that is, if they noticed at all, and he doubted they would. Why would they when they never noticed anything about him before? He went missing for weeks, and neither of them noticed, so why would something like this make them cast aside their ignorance and actually notice him? No. He doubted they would notice. After all, he was just Gaara. No one special.

It was with those thought in mind he approached the Akatsuki gang, a look of absolute resolve on his face. He stood there for a few moments, just assessing the people there. There was a tall, blue haired man with a tall, muscular build, and a rugged frame, standing with a boy who looked like an older, more feminine Sasuke, except his hair was a pure black colour, and was longer, tied in a pony tail at the base of his neck. Is main noticeable feature, however, were the lines that ran along the edge of his cheek, down the sides of his nose. He knew the larger male was Kisame, and the other boy was Itachi Uchiha. Sasuke's older brother.

The next pair he noticed was Hidan, a thin, foul mouthed boy with naturally white hair and bright violet eyes, and Kakuzu, a highly tanned boy with brown hair and bright, slightly scary looking green eyes. However, the most noticeable feature he had was the Chelsea smile he had, that was littered with stitches.

His eyes continued roaming the group, next landing on a creepy boy with tree-green hair, and a fascination with painting one half of his face white. Gaara knew this boy went by the name of Zetsu, a tall boy with multi personality disorder. He noticed him being annoyed by a short boy with spiked black hair, and an orange swirled mask in place on his face, covering his left eye. Gaara identified this boy as Tobi, a sixteen year old boy with the mind of a seven year old.

Next he spotted Deidara talking to boy that looked almost identical to Gaara, except he didn't have excessive bags under his eyes, and his eyes were an ash rose colour, also he was taller than Gaara. This boy was Gaara's older cousin, Sasori.

Gaara cautiously approached his cousin and Deidara. He waited for them to notice him before he spoke, in a quiet yet confidant voice.

"I wish to join the Akatsuki,"

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><p><strong>AN: well there you have it! The next chapter of Never Again! I know it's kind of a fail chapter, but I did my best. Had a massive case of writers block while was writing this chapter, so yeah, sorry :) <strong>**but I did my best! **

**R&R!**


	4. Updates

A/N: Okay guys, I haven't updated anything in a while, but I have been so busy with school and cosplay that I haven't had the time! I'm more focused on cosplay than writing right now, and I would appreciate it if you guys could have a look and show your support! Karasu-95 . deviantart . com (remove the spaces).

I am currently working on the first chapter of the sequel to Forbidden love, and the next chapter of never again, but it will take time, as manifest is right around the corner and I'm working on my Amaimon. My cosplay group also needs a name, any ideas are welcome!

But yeah, please be kind and show your support! If i gain more confidence in my cosplay I may become more motivated to write ^.^


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